Futile Cycle
by Dusk Dreaming
Summary: Five months ago, Shepard died to destroy the Reapers. Before his corpse was cold, the galaxy fell into a bitter war for survival. Ironically, the Crucible only accelerated the march toward extinction. The cycle of destruction will continue without Reapers: this time, organics will annihilate themselves.
1. Diplomacy

_A Prothean Theatre? Excavations of ruins on Therum suggest Protheans constructed large auditoria._

_Liara T'Soni, Nazia Jiftar & Fevris R'mta._

**Abstract**

_Much has been written on the cultural pastimes of the Protheans, although such speculations have lacked scientific rigour (Nilotis, G. & Gekasiae, S., 2065). In this study, Prothean artefacts uncovered on Therum are described and analysed. Hypotheses are advanced as to the purpose of such structures and the role they played in Prothean society. One architectural relic was found to consist of a flat floor composed of a material similar to Tankerlite. It was hypothesised that this sector was a fragment of a circular area bounded by raised platforms, used to showcase Prothean culture, functioning much like modern theatrical auditoria. Other relics included idols of Mass Relays and pictorial representations of local star systems. Insufficient data were recovered to hypothesise on the functions of these objects, which may have served artistic, historical, scientific or religious purposes._

- Extract from an article in _Those Who Came Before_ (the galaxy's premiere scientific journal on the Prothean civilisation), pp. 140-156, Volume 3045.

* * *

Liara T'Soni leaned back in her chair and took a sip from a mug of hot coffee. The human beverage contained an alkaloid stimulant called caffeine that, she was finding, had similar effects on both asari and human nervous systems. It had kept her going through many long and sleepless nights. The drink was bitter – apparently it tasted better when combined with the lactic secretions of a herbivorous quadruped – but her wartime rations permitted her only hot water, and besides, drinking the secretions of a Terran animal did not sound very appealing to her, no matter how thoroughly the product was sterilised.

She set the mug down and ran a hand across her forehead, sighing. Her job was over now. She should rest, get some sleep. But as the humans said, there was no rest for the wicked. Or was it no rest for the weary? She would have to ask Shep – no, Kaidan about that, the next time she saw him.

A soft knock sounded at the door of her office and she started, almost knocking the mug over. "Come in," she said.

The door opened and Midshipman Duignan appeared, head lowered meekly. "Uh, Dr T'Soni? Councillor Hackett says he'd like to speak with ye. He's on a secure channel. I can patch him through to yer com terminal."

"Thank you, Midshipman. Surely you didn't have to come all the way to my office for that."

Midshipman Duignan's face turned an interesting pinkish-red colour. "Um, I brought ye some milk, ma'am. I know how much ye're likin' the coffee, and I thought, well, it's a shame for ye to only have it with water, so… "

Liara chuckled. "Thank you." She took the proffered packet and tucked it away on her desk. "That's very kind of you. I hope you didn't have to go to too much trouble to get it."

"Not at all, not at all." Midshipman Duignan held his arms awkwardly behind his back. "Ye'd best drink it in a day or two or else it'll spoil."

"Right. I'll do that." She smiled kindly at him. "Thanks again. I should probably speak to the Councillor now. I believe he needs to discuss something very urgent with me."

Midshipman Duignan nodded, saluted and practically ran out the door. He had feelings for her, the poor boy. Liara wondered what humans on Earth thought about the asari. Perhaps Duignan had been watching those strange extranet exploitation vids with nasty titles like _Matriarch 2: Revenge of the Biotic Dominatrix from Thessia._ It was fortunate humans had not learnt about the Ardat-Yakshi – by the Goddess, the kinds of vids that would spawn! Midshipman Duignan was a sweet boy, but he was barely two decades old, and Liara was over five times his age. In her eyes, the human was hardly more than an infant.

Her com terminal lit up and she composed herself before activating it. Councillor Hackett's image appeared before her. The com hologram didn't show fine detail, but she thought he looked much older and wearier that he had a few months ago.

"Good morning, Dr T'Soni," Hackett said.

"Good morning, Councillor Hackett."

"I was pleasantly surprised to receive your message. I take it you've reconsidered your decision."

"Yes. That's correct."

"If you don't mind my asking, what brought about this change of heart?"

Liara lowered her head, organising her thoughts. It was several moments before she replied. "It has been over five months, Councillor. I've picked over the rubble the search-and-rescue parties left behind, going over the same areas again and again. It's time for me to accept the truth, the truth that everyone else has already faced. Shepard is gone and he's not coming back."

Hackett nodded. "A hard truth," he said. "Yet I'm glad to hear you've begun the mourning process. We need your expertise. We can't afford to have you wasting your talents on searching for things that are already lost."

"What's the situation like up there?"

Hackett shook his head. "I won't lie to you. It's pretty grim. Things have calmed down a little since the formation of the Emergency Council, but the tension is mounting. The turians have pledged their loyalty to the Council, but their ships are still guarding the Charon Relay. They let human, salarian and asari research parties visit the relay, but they haven't permitted any non-turian military vessel to approach, and we haven't broached the subject. This is not the time to be testing their boundaries."

"What of the asari and salarians?"

"The asari are co-operating with us fully. Their lifespans are long enough that most of them will be alive to use the Mass Relays even if they take decades or centuries to rebuild. The hope of returning to a Reaper-free Thessia is spurring them on to study the Charon Relay with all their resources. The salarians are more difficult. They're smart enough to know that, statistically, all of them will die before the Mass Relay is rebuilt. The prospect of being trapped on Earth, cut off from their Family Houses and their females is not a cheerful one. Councillor Uxula is keeping them in check for now. She was the only Dalatrass – indeed, the only salarian female – to survive the Battle for Earth. As well as her political clout due to being a Dalatrass, she is now the most valuable salarian in the Sol system, as any male salarian who mates with her will pass on his genes to another generation. She reports that there is great discontent within the salarian fleet, and she can't promise to hold it together forever."

"What about Tali's people?"

"The quarians have been on a pretty cool basis with the Council. Their application for readmittance to Council space was approved, but they were denied a place on the Emergency Council itself, thanks to the negative votes of the salarian and asari Councillors. They can't afford to be too distant with us, though, because they need our help. The entire Migrant Fleet is here, which is a mixed blessing. They don't have to worry about being cut off from their people and culture – but they have a massive civilian force to feed and not enough supplies or power to keep their ships running for the decades they may be stuck in Sol. We're settling quarians on Earth, mainly in Alaska and New Mexico, which is causing its own headaches, as you're well aware. Tali'Zorah is overseeing that. You could talk to her about it."

"The situation sounds extremely volatile."

"You haven't heard the worst of it. The Rebels are becoming a major thorn in our side."

"I thought the Rebels were just a few krogan malcontents?"

"No. As well as several krogan companies from Tuchanka, they now include bands of Terminus Systems mercenaries – krogan, vorcha, asari and batarian – and a batarian fleet from Khar'san. I believe they were even joined by some salarian deserters."

Liara shook her head. "We're all stuck in Sol. We need to work together to have even a remote chance of leaving. What could they hope to gain from rebelling?"

"Bringing all these people together was an incredible feat. It took the combination of Shepard's charisma and the threat of the Reapers. Once those two factors were removed, it was inevitable our fragile alliance would splinter. Like the quarians, the krogan and vorcha – vorcha, dammit! – demanded a place on the Council. I voted for the krogan, but I could not sanction the vorcha. In any case, when those two species were denied, they took their ships and left, taking advantage of the confusion to destroy some of our fighters on the way. Our forces are severely weakened and our priorities now are stabilising Earth, keeping the Council races together and repairing the Mass Relay. We're stretched thin. The Rebels know we can't pursue them in force. They're lurking out there, ready to harass vulnerable targets. The mercenary companies are using the hit-and-run tactics they perfected in the Terminus Systems. That's another reason Tali'Zorah wanted to relocate the most vulnerable quarian citizens to Earth ASAP. The quarian civilian fleet is armed but not prepared to withstand bloodthirsty mercs."

"Terrible. We came together in a show of unity, the likes of which the galaxy had never seen before. There was so much potential, so much hope. And now the Reapers are gone, we turn on each other. By the Goddess, could anything be sadder?"

"I doubt it. The lead up to the Battle for Earth was the finest thing I'd ever seen in my life. They didn't even have the decency to let Shepard's body get cold before pissing all over his legacy."

"Well, Councillor, I'm ready to do anything I can to help."

"Dr T'Soni, our top scientists have been studying the Mass Relay for months and they still haven't made any progress. We don't even understand what material the relay is constructed from."

"How can I help you with that, Councillor? You know I'm an archaeologist, not a Mass Effect physicist."

"The Protheans built the Conduit. That means they were capable of manipulating the Mass Relay network and building new Relays. You are the galaxy's foremost expert on the Protheans. Perhaps if you were to join our research team…"

"The Prothean ruins I've studied were incredibly difficult to decipher. It took me years just to work out what sort of buildings the Protheans lived in, and those were educated guesses at best! Now you're asking me to reconstruct Prothean Mass Effect physics? That's orders of magnitude beyond anything I've ever done! It's not possible, Councillor. It can't be done."

"If I recall correctly, you and the rest of Shepard's team have done the impossible before."

"Yes, but… Shepard was with us then. Now he's gone…"

"But you're still here, Doctor. All the good men and women Shepard gathered around him are still here. You can still do great things. I believe that."

"Have you tried speaking to Javik?"

"The whereabouts of the Prothean are unknown. There's been no reported sighting of him since the war ended. If he survived, he's keeping a low profile."

"I think… I think I might be able to find him. If he's alive. I don't know how much help he'd be – he's a warrior with no scientific training, he said so himself – but his understanding of Prothean language and culture would help me interpret the data I have. It's a long shot, but we haven't much choice at the moment. I can't promise he'll assist, though. He's not the most… co-operative individual."

Councillor Hackett nodded. "Yes, having a real live Prothean on our side could make things a lot easier."

"I'll need a few days. To – to prepare, sort out my things, organise my data. And perhaps find Javik."

"Very well, Doctor. Hopefully we'll see you and the Prothean on our research team in a few days. Your assistance is greatly appreciated. Hackett out."

* * *

_I have seen Rannoch with my naked eyes_

_Glowing in the light of the ancestral sun_

_I have breathed the air that Wur'Kazat breathed_

_And walked the earth that Iftiba walked_

_The sweet winds that caressed Jaheena's locks_

_Have wiped the tears from my bare face_

_Who can describe that memory, O Quarian?_

_Who can capture the beauty of Rannoch, that Walled Garden,_

_That jewel of Arzur, which calamity stole from Quar's children?_

- The Journal of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya

(Editor's Note: Tali'Zorah vas Normandy translated many of her writings into Geth. Her Geth rendition of the above poem is included below for the sake of completeness, although something is inevitably lost in translation):

_0100010101111111101001_

_010100010100000010101000_

_0011111010001001110101100_

_10101000101111101010001010_

* * *

When Tali entered the room, the receptionist, a young human girl, looked up and wrinkled her face in distaste. How strange it would be to have your facial expressions just hanging out there, broadcasting your feelings, your age, your history for everyone to see. It had taken Tali a long time to get used to that. Quarians never saw each other's faces unless they were in an intimate relationship. On the Migrant Fleet walking around with your face showing would be like publicly exposing a breast or some other deeply personal part of your body.

She walked up to the counter and nodded at the girl. "Good morning. I am here to meet with the Minister for Immigration."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"Of course. I am Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, the Quarian ambassador to Earth."

The receptionist typed furiously. "I need to see your ID."

Tali activated her omni-tool. "Here are the documents proving my identity."

"You need to submit to a facial scan."

"Very well."

"Take off your mask."

"What?"

"It's standard procedure."

"I cannot remove my mask!"

"Look, I don't know how you do things on Quaria, but on Earth we ID people by looking at their faces. If you want to live here you'll have to learn to do things our way."

Tali kept her anger in check with difficulty. "It is not a question of culture. If I take off my mask my immune system will be compromised and I will die. Have you never met a quarian or volus before?"

The girl shook her head. "If you can't submit to a facial scan for medical reasons, you'll have to apply for a special exemption. I'll upload the form to your omni-tool."

Tali retreated to a corner of the lobby, found a seat on a soft couch and watched the city through the window. She had never been to Canberra before. It was in Earth's southern hemisphere, part of the Oceanian Republic. Its small population had spared it from heavy Reaper assault, but even here she could see the scars and gaping holes in the cityscape left by the war. Painful reminders of things she had lost. She looked away. Time to fill in this damn form.

Once the form was complete, she sent it to the receptionist, who rolled her eyes as if to say, _these aliens, right? _Tali went back to staring out the window until someone coughed politely behind her.

She turned, saw who it was and leapt to her feet. "Kaidan!" she cried, rushing to embrace him.

"Good to see you, Tali," he said, returning the hug. "Whoa, easy there!"

"They told me they would be sending an Alliance officer to support me, but they did not say who it was! Why did you not tell me?"

"I wanted to see the look of surprise on your face. Uh, mask."

"Please. Don't go there."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to offend."

"You didn't offend me. Just… that girl over there was giving me a hard time. Humans aren't exactly going out of their way to make my people feel welcome on Earth, you know?"

Kaidan put his hands on Tali's shoulders, his hazel eyes soft with concern. "Tali. I want to do everything I can to make your people feel safe here. You helped us out when we needed it. We couldn't have won the Reaper War without you. I'm sorry. Sometimes we humans have short memories. I'm ashamed of us, sometimes."

"Don't be sorry, Kaidan. Come, let us sit down. We have much to talk about."

They settled on the couch by the window, but it was different now, with Kaidan to distract her. She couldn't lose herself in her own thoughts, dwell on old regrets. The two of them talked, laughed and remembered, and it was good to feel this again, to feel free and happy with someone she trusted. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed it until just now.

"Is it my imagination, or are you wearing a new uniform?"

Kaidan looked sheepish. "It's not your imagination. They've made me a Captain now."

"Congratulations! I can think of no one who deserves it more."

"To be honest, I don't really feel I've earned it. We lost a lot of good men and women, people who should have been above me. That's why they promoted me so quickly, to fill the gaps."

"Nonsense. If they promoted you for anything other than your dedication, talent and sheer hard work, they are fools."

"Gee, Tali, you're going to make me blush."

"How are you finding your new position?"

"Honestly? I _love _it. Hackett put me in charge of half the Biotic Units in the North American Division. I'm overseeing their training, even the young kids. And it's so good to know that on my watch things are going to be done right, that no one is going to put those guys through what I went through."

Tali could tell by the animation in his face and the passion in his voice that he truly enjoyed what he was doing. "They are lucky to be in your care."

Kaidan smiled. "But I'm not the only one who's moved up in the world. Ambassador to Earth, huh? Pretty big deal."

Tali looked away. "In truth, this isn't a very prestigious job. My people are on Earth because they have to be, not because they want to be. I wish we could be here under less… strained circumstances. My people are angry. They feel that humans are not repaying us for the assistance we provided in the war."

"Because we're not."

"Hopefully that will change today. But I do not feel optimistic."

Kaidan took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Hey, we did the impossible. We stopped the Reapers. Anything else should be child's play, right?"

Tali looked down. "Shepard was with us then." She looked out the window again, at the blasted landscape. "Over five months. I really can't believe it."

"I wish he was here with us now. To see this. Earth going on. Surviving. To know that his sacrifice wasn't for nothing."

"Given the situation, maybe it's better he didn't see this. Organic life is so messed up. We fought so hard to stop the Reapers from destroying us, but no sooner are they gone than we begin to fight each other. Maybe the Protheans were wrong. Maybe it's not the Reapers who bring about the end of the cycle. Maybe we'll do it to ourselves."

"There's a cheerful thought."

"Sorry. Sorry. So, what are your plans after the meeting?"

"Well, the Alliance wants me to go to London and take part in some kind of parade. March around, show off my medals. They gave everyone who took part in the battle a new one, you know, the Silver Crucible. Did you get one? Oh. Give me your address and I'll see you get one. Anyway, you probably don't want it. It's just a piece of metal. You know what my most precious memento of that battle is?" Kaidan's face clouded. He lowered his gaze, reached inside his shirt and drew something out in his clenched fist. He opened his fingers, and there on his palm was a small badge emblazoned with the N7 logo. "I took this from one of Shepard's old uniforms. I carry it everywhere, like a good luck charm. He took us through hell and somehow kept us safe. I kind of feel like part of him is still with me, you know? I know it's stupid."

"No." Tali shook her head. "On the Migrant Fleet we have no space for useless things. Objects without function are sold or given away. But I… I would make room for that."

"I'm glad you understand." Kaidan squeezed the badge again and tucked it inside his shirt. "He was like the brother I never had."

"We all cared for him. Very much." She heaved a deep sigh. "Any word on Liara?"

"Last I heard, she's still digging."

"She is a better friend than we are."

"I don't know. I don't think Shepard would want us to spend too much time hoping for the impossible. It's been months with no sign of him. Even if he somehow survived the explosion, the most we can hope for now is finding his remains and laying them to rest."

"Keelah se'lai."

The receptionist interrupted their conversation. "Captain Alenko? Ambassador Vas Normandy? The Minister will see you in her office now."

Kaidan and Tali rose to their feet.

"Showtime," Kaidan said.

The Oceanian Minister for Immigration was a human female about Tali's height with tanned skin, long, straight black hair and a good-looking, arrogant face. She greeted her visitors courteously enough, but she had a no-nonsense air about her that told Tali this visit would be a difficult one. They exchanged pleasantries, and then they got to the crux of the matter.

"Minister Faumuina," Tali said, "Australia is the least populated of the occupied continents on Earth. The central region has an extremely low population density. The Alliance agreed to relocate my people -"

"An agreement that was made without consulting the Oceanian government," Minister Faumuina interrupted. "We can hardly be expected to uphold a contract we had no part in making."

"Surely, Minister," Kaidan said, "your government will be happy to provide every available assistance to the Alliance and the quarian fleet, given that we defended this planet from complete annihilation by the Reapers."

"We have not forgotten the war and your role in it. You might have saved us from _complete _annihilation, but it was a near thing. Our national infrastructure is completely destroyed. We have millions of citizens who are homeless, starving, dying from outbreaks of disease. We've lost eighty percent of our population and we're looking at losing at least another half over the next few years. We're not in a position to support extra people."

"Every other nation is in the same situation," Kaidan said. "But they still allowed us to settle aliens in North America."

"Not without problems. I heard some of the residents of New Mexico and Alaska aren't very happy with their new neighbours. The reports I've had suggest that they could be looking at a civil war. That's not the kind of problem Oceania needs right now. We need peace. We need to rebuild. We don't need aliens destabilising our society."

Tali leaned forward. "Your society, your peace, was bought and paid for with the lives of my people! How can you now turn around and deny us a bit of land to live on? We came all the way across the galaxy for you, because Shepard asked us."

"Commander Shepard is dead."

"And so, it seems, is the honour of the human species."

"Amusing. A quarian questions my honour. I don't think we need lessons on hospitality from the race that unleashed the Geth on the entire galaxy." Minister Faumuina turned to Kaidan. "We might be persuaded to take a few asari and salarians, Captain. No krogan. No turians. And no quarians."

Kaidan said, "Look, the quarians won't be a drain on your resources. Quite the opposite. They're sourcing their food from the turians. And they are fantastic engineers – they can help with repairs and construction, and mineral extraction. Oceania still has mineral and fuel deposits that were abandoned because the yields were too depleted. The quarians can mine those for you. They're extremely efficient. They'll pay resource taxes, of course, which will go to your treasury. And the extracted minerals can either help in your own rebuilding efforts, or be exported at a premium. Plus, if you have technology that was damaged by the Crucible pulse, the quarians can repair it. You see, Minister? You get all these benefits and the quarians get a place to stay. Everyone wins."

Minister Faumuina considered this for a few moments. "You make an interesting case. I will have to take this issue to my cabinet and discuss it with them. Aliens are not very popular on Earth right now, and quarians least of all. Their association with synthetic life is too strong. But I will see what can be done."

After the meeting concluded, they went for a stroll in a park not far from the office building.

"Do you want to get a drink?" Tali asked. "For old times' sake?"

"Sorry, Tali. I'd love to, but I've got a shuttle to London to catch."

Tali sighed glumly. "Yes. I should return to Alaska too. My people are having trouble settling in. Did you know there have been murders of quarians and turians? Some humans really don't want us here."

"I'm really sorry. Is there anything the Alliance can do? More resources?"

"I don't think this can be handled through… official channels."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Never mind. We'll be fine, Kaidan. Go and enjoy your parade. You've earned it."

She hugged him tightly before they parted ways. "I hope to see you again. But if I don't, I want you to know that I was glad to know you. The days on the Normandy – well, I was in mortal danger all the time, but in some ways those were the happiest days of my life."

"Tali, why are you talking like this? The war is over."

"The _Reaper _war is over. But other conflicts are just beginning. Shepard destroyed the Reapers, but he couldn't change our nature. The Reapers were right about one thing: organic life is chaotic. Maybe war will never end."

"Tali…"

"Goodbye, Kaidan. Take care of yourself."

She left him there, standing in the shadow of gum trees, while she crossed the ruined city and returned to her transport.

* * *

**A/N:**

Rating will rise to M.

This is an AU. Updates will be slow.

Warning: main characters may die. Maybe even all of them.

EDI and the Geth are not dead (not yet!). Just the Reapers. Because I said so.


	2. Night Raid

The lone moon of Earth shed its ghostly light over the valley, turning the landscape into a patchwork of silver and black. Strange smells hung in the air. On Palaven the night was full of life, but Earth's night was still and silent except for soft rustlings and the chirping of insects.

Garrus sat on a rocky ledge, his sniper rifle by his side. If the scouts didn't show up in eight minutes he would give the order for the squad to move ahead. He fully expected the scouts to return, though there was always the possibility he had miscalculated.

"How heavily guarded do you think this base'll be, sir?" asked Marius.

"Take it easy, Marius. Odds are this is a small operation run by a few amateur humans. Nothing you can't handle."

"Yes, sir."

Marius was the youngest and most recent addition to their team. Garrus didn't feel entirely comfortable taking on such an inexperienced recruit, but the boy had raw talent and had begged to be allowed to come after his camp had been targeted.

"We'll find your brother if he's alive," Garrus told him. "We'll avenge him if he's not."

"Thank you, sir."

It had started with protests. There had been little things: anti-alien graffiti, verbal abuse, things the turians could deal with. Then the situation had escalated. Turians and quarians had been bashed by roving human mobs. Camps and agricultural facilities had been sabotaged. The violence had changed, becoming more organised, tactical. There had been kidnappings, armed gangs terrorising vulnerable settlements.

The local police force was made up of humans who resented the turian presence as much as anyone. They weren't interested in bringing the perpetrators to justice. The Alliance soldiers who'd been posted to oversee the settlements were willing to help, but they were too few and stretched too thin. Besides, this was a turian problem. Garrus had known what needed to be done. It was time for Archangel to make a comeback.

He had started out on his own, but over time he'd gathered a few like-minded individuals around him. There was no shortage of turians willing to defend their camps, but Garrus needed a small, highly effective team, not an army. He needed trustworthy people with combat and tech expertise who could take orders and, above all, be discreet. What they were doing was not exactly legal.

Garrus' earpiece crackled: _"Sir. Scouts returning."_

"Acknowledged. Let's move."

They climbed the valley's lip and emerged onto the surrounding rocky terrain. Small creatures slithered between the stumpy bushes that thrust out of the ground here and there.

"Look, a lizard."

"Huh? Oh, I thought you meant a salarian."

When the two scouts rejoined them, their squad was six turians strong.

"What's the situation like?" Garrus asked.

"Quiet, sir," said Rosaquen. "The base is hidden under a fuel station. The heat signatures are a little weaker than yesterday. We didn't see any defences. The place looks asleep."

"Any sign of hostiles?"

"None." Rosaquen looked at Fortus, who shook his head. "I bet there's a few in there at least. They wouldn't have left a base undefended."

Garrus nodded.

"What about entrances? Exits?"

"We didn't get close enough to identify them. We didn't want to risk an encounter without backup."

"All right. We get in, find any survivors, take out any resistance. Zarmian does his magic with their computers, we disable the place and get out. Easy."

The base was one point five clicks away. They spread out and began to move, their boots crunching quietly on the sand as they weaved around boulders and shrubs. They travelled in silence as Earth's alien stars watched them from above. Perhaps the spirits of this place wondered what these strange creatures were doing on Earth's soil.

_Look out for us, _Garrus thought. _We're not your people, but we defended your home from the Reapers. _

The ground sloped downwards, becoming smooth and flat. Up ahead, the fuel station came into view, crouched next to an empty highway. The turians emerged from the night like shadows. Garrus signalled, sending Fortus and Belphon around the back, while he, Marius, Zarmian and Rosaquen went for the front door.

Zarmian picked the lock in about two seconds. Heavy pistol in hand, he slipped inside, flicked the lights on and motioned for the others to follow. The interior was small and gloomy, silent but for the faint hum of machinery. Large white tiles covered the floor and aisles filled with colourful snacks took up most of the available space. Zarmian vaulted over the counter and busied himself with a console. Rosaquen paced up and down the aisles, squinting at packets of food suspiciously. Marius stood close to Garrus, looking tense.

Fortus and Belphon rejoined them. After a couple of minutes, Zarmian said, "Aha." There was a click and a whirring noise from the door behind the counter. Zarmian straightened up. "Sir, I've unlocked the elevator to the base. There are two floors below ground. One's used for storage. I don't know what the second floor's for."

"Nice work."

"There are security cameras throughout the station and below ground. I've reprogrammed them to loop old footage, but we might have been spotted already. We should be ready for resistance."

"As you say."

"Hope we get some action," said Belphon. "I want to pay these humans back for what they've done."

"Me too," Marius said.

They entered the elevator. Garrus felt that familiar rush of excitement. What if he ended up seriously hurt or dead? It would serve Tali right. He imagined her reaction, savouring the regret and grief she would feel. She would wish she had treated him better then. He pushed the thoughts away.

"One floor down," said Garrus. "Marius, stay where I can keep an eye on you. This is your first real mission."

"Yes, sir."

"Move to the side of the elevator and keep your weapon on the door. That way if someone's on the other side, you'll have a bit of cover and your skull won't be right in the path of their bullets." That was for Marius' benefit. The others already knew what to do. Still, it never hurt to remind people.

Zarmian said, "The cams show no one on the storage floor. Could be hidden or shielded though."

The elevator came to a halt. Everyone focused, fingers on their triggers, nerves strained as the doors slid open. There was nothing beyond but darkness. They waited, watching.

"Deploying drones," said Zarmian. He fiddled with his omni-tool and sent three silver orbs arcing into the dark. The drones separated and whizzed out of sight, Zarmian keeping track of their progress on the omni-tool. "No sign of hostiles. Room 40% scanned."

"Belphon," said Garrus, "hit the lights."

Belphon went in, assault rifle pointing ahead, a beam of light shining from his omni-tool. He pressed his back against the wall and moved along, searching for a switch. After a few seconds the ceiling flared with fluorescent light, illuminating the room. The remaining turians left the elevator with their weapons held ready before them. The room was about ten square metres and filled with dozens of boxes and crates.

"Room 90% scanned, no hostiles," said Zarmian. "Could be cloaked."

"Marius, on the elevator doors. Everyone else, spread out. I want to know what's in these boxes."

Garrus slashed through a box with his omni-blade. Packets of food scattered onto the floor.

"Sir," Zarmian said, "some of these crates contain a lot of metal and traces of element zero. I can point them out."

"Do it."

Zarmian indicated several crates and the squad moved to open them. Garrus carefully removed the cover from his, not wanting to destabilise any weapons or explosives. Inside were packets of frozen vegetable pods. He took one out, slit it open and watched little green spheres tumble out. Letting the packet fall to the floor, he scooped out the other packs, leaving the crate empty. Zarmian stuck his omni-tool in the crate and waved it around.

"The readings are strong," he said. "It's a false bottom." He cut the base of the crate along its four edges and lifted out the piece of plastic. Underneath, weapons gleamed in the light.

Garrus picked up one of the shotguns and examined it. "This is an M-23 Katana," he said. "A military weapon. Now what are civilians doing with guns like this?"

"Someone's supplying the bastards," said Zarmian. "But who?"

"Could be anyone on Earth," Rosaquen said. "We're not welcome here."

"I don't recognise this one," said Belphon. He passed a shotgun to Fortus, who peered at it and shrugged.

"Let me see that," said Garrus, his eyes narrowed. He took the shotgun from Fortus and held it up to the light. "Hmm."

"You're the weapons expert, Vakarian," said Rosaquen. "Know what it is?"

Garrus nodded slowly. "It's an M-22 Eviscerator. Human manufacture. It's illegal under galactic law, so it's rarely seen outside human colonies. The last time I saw one… it was in the hands of a Cerberus agent."

There was a tense silence.

"Sir," said Zarmian, "are you suggesting that -"

"That Cerberus is supplying the human supremacists? No. The last we heard, the Illusive Man and his top agents were on the Citadel. If Shepard didn't make it out of there, I doubt the Illusive Man did. It's more likely Cerberus' stock ended up on the black market after the war ended. I don't know where our friends got these weapons from. _Someone_ is supplying them."

"Let's go find out," Belphon said.

"We'll take these guns with us on our way out. No point leaving them here for racists to play with. Time to see what's on the lower floor. Zarmian, got any footage?"

"Sir, I can see three hostiles on the lower floor. One is a sniper in a position to target the elevator doors. There are two more in cover nearby, though I can't see their weapons. Can I make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"I'll send combat drones down the elevator first. When the doors open, the enemy will fire. Some of the drones will survive to distract them. We go down right after."

"Good plan. Do it."

As Zarmian bent down and programmed his drones, Garrus said, "Make sure your shields are up and fully charged. Wear your filter too, in case they've got chem weapons."

Zarmian deployed his drones and sent the elevator down.

"It won't take them long to work out the drones are a distraction," Garrus continued. "Expect gunfire when the doors open on us. As soon as the doors are open, run for cover."

"What if the sniper fires before we reach cover?" asked Marius.

"One shot from a sniper will destroy your shield but it won't hurt you."

"What if there're two snipers?"

"Then I suggest you run like hell."

"Sir, the drones have engaged the hostiles. The elevator's on its way back up now." Zarmian held up his omni-tool so they could all see the image on it. The drones were buzzing around, firing little bursts of light at the humans, who had swivelled their guns away from the elevator doors to follow the new threat.

"Let's go," said Garrus. When the elevator opened they all piled in. Zarmian hit the button and the six of them got into position, taking cover against the sides, their weapons levelled at the doors.

"Five seconds," said Zarmian. "Three… two… one…"

The doors opened. They charged out into the light of the room and broke formation, each of them racing for cover. Garrus dove behind a crate, then realised that Marius had followed him and there wasn't room for both of them.

"Get down," Garrus said, standing up and shoving Marius into cover. Garrus ran, hearing the sharp _ping _of bullets as they scraped against his shield. He retreated, dodged around a wall and came face to face with a human. He activated his omni-blade as the human raised its pistol.

_Blam!_

The impact shook Garrus, shattering his shield. Ignoring it, he lashed out with his omni-blade, the orange edge biting into the human's shield, throwing up bright blue sparks.

_Blam! _The pistol fired again and Garrus felt a fiery ball of pain scrape the left side of his waist.

_Whoosh! _Something pierced the human's shield, disintegrating it. Garrus took the opportunity to strike, putting all his strength behind a downward swing that tore the human open from its left shoulder to its right hip.

_"Aarrggh!"_ the human shrieked, falling back and clutching at its body with its hands. Thick red blood spilled from the gash and spattered the floor. The human collapsed to the ground, howling and twitching. Ignoring the display, Garrus sprayed some medigel on his own wound and pressed his back against the corner of the wall.

"Vakarian got one! One to go,"said Rosaquen.

_Boom!_

"Its shields are down."

"I'll flush it out with my drones. Take the shot."

_Boom!_

"Got it! That's a wrap."

"Nice."

"Yeah! That's how turians do it."

"Sending drones to scan floor. Could be more hostiles."

When his shields were recharged, Garrus stepped away from the wall and surveyed the scene. The bodies of two more humans were crumpled on the floor. Marius was standing a little way behind the rest of the squad, looking troubled.

"All right?" Garrus asked him.

"I… I didn't do anything. I just stayed in cover and it was all over in a couple of minutes."

"You stayed alive. That's an important achievement on your first mission. Don't worry about winning any medals. That'll come with time and experience. Your priority should be surviving and getting used to being in a combat situation. You did well."

"I… thank you, sir." Marius didn't sound convinced.

"Fortus, I cut up a human over there. See if you can keep him alive so we can ask him a few questions."

"Sir," said Zarmian, "the drones have found the central computer lab. No more hostiles. No more… living things on this floor."

"What does that mean?"

"I've got the bodies of the kidnapped people in one of the rooms."

"Rosaquen, cover Fortus. The rest of us are moving on."

The room was small. It didn't have cells or restraints. Judging by the cuffs on the table, the turians had been tied up when they were brought in. They were no longer tied. There was no need. Their bodies lay on the floor in haphazard positions, bruises darkening their skin, blue blood crusting their wounds. There were burns disfiguring their flesh.

"Trys!" Marius ran to one of the corpses and knelt beside it. Turning it over, he shook it gently. "Trys? Trystan!"

"They tortured them," Zarmian said disgustedly.

"Bastards," growled Belphon. "We'll return the favour."

"No," said Garrus. "No torture. We're fighting barbarians, not learning from them." To Marius he said, "Come on, Marius. There's nothing you can do for him now. We'll take him home and give him a proper funeral."

Marius didn't appear to hear. He kept shaking his brother's body as though trying to wake him. "Trys?" he said softly. "Trys?"

"All right. He needs some time. Zarmian, go get the data we came for. Belphon, get Amius to bring the shuttle in. If Fortus and Rosaquen are done patching up the human, get them to help you load it along with the weapons."

When the other two had gone, Garrus leaned against the wall. He didn't really know what to say. Shepard was better at this sort of thing.

"Why did they do it?" said Marius. "He wasn't a fighter. He was going to be a doctor."

"Because they were ignorant people with minds twisted by hate."

"It should've been me. I was trained for this. I could have fought them. He just wanted a quiet life. I should have… been there, should have kept him safe." The boy started to cry.

Garrus just watched. He didn't know what to say, what to do. What was it Shepard had told him once, when they were sharing a drink for Ashley? _"It is such a secret place, the land of tears."_ A quotation from some human work. Ashley would have liked that. The tears flowed, cutting the boy off from Garrus, and Garrus wanted to build a bridge, but he didn't know how.


	3. Drinking Buddies

_What the hell kind of ship is this? Shepard says he makes his crew keep diaries! Is he our commander or our fucking guidance counsellor? He says he expects me to log something every couple of days. He says I don't have to show it to him if it's private. He says I can just write mission reports, but he suggests that I write down my thoughts and feelings because it might help me process them. I suggested he mind his own fucking business._

_When Shepard first got me on the ship, I thought I would kill everyone on board and take it for myself. Now I'm thinking it might be worth sticking around just to see where this party goes. Shepard acts like a total pussy but there are moments when his hero act slips and you can see this 'I don't give a fuck' personality just lurking under the surface. He could be a real hard motherfucker if he didn't have this 'I gotta be a hero and save the galaxy' stick shoved up his ass all the time. I like that. He's weird but interesting. Hell, everyone on this ship is interesting. There are so many aliens here it's like one of those Multicultural Harmony vids they used to make us watch in juvenile detention._

_ Just noticed something weird. Shepard never looks at my tits when he speaks to me. Is he a fag? Nah, I'm pretty sure there's some chemistry between him and that Cerberus cheerleader. And that alien who wears a bucket on her head. Maybe if I put on a rubber suit and wore a fishbowl on my head, Shepard would perve on me then. Maybe he doesn't like flat girls? Or maybe he's trying to be a gentleman? Should investigate this. Could be fun._

- Journal of Subject Zero/"Jack"

* * *

Jack slammed down another cocktail and gestured at the bartender. "Another Shepard Shake. Keep 'em coming."

"Yes ma'am."

She picked up the fresh glass and looked at it suspiciously. It tasted like shit. She was sure there was some bootleg homebrew in here. "What's in this shit, anyway?"

"I can't tell you that, ma'am. It's a club secret. Traditional home recipe. Please don't hurt me."

Jack shook her head. You died to save the galaxy and you got a shitty cocktail named after you. Now those were some tough titties. She flicked her long brown hair out of her face. She was used to it now, but having long hair again had annoyed her at first. It kept getting in the way. Plus, apparently, guys thought she was pretty now. She'd been getting a lot of unwanted attention and it'd pissed her off. She was used to being in space, where human girls were ignored because the asari were around. On Earth, human girls were in demand and men weren't afraid to let them know it.

"Hey sweetie, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"No, jackass, but it is gonna hurt when I kick your ass through the window."

"I like your tattoos. Do they go all the way down your body?"

"Yeah, I get a new one every time I kill a dumbass that uses a shitty pickup line on me."

"Hey, baby. Ever been with a turian before?"

"No. Ever had your balls ripped off by a biotic field before?"

Eventually they'd gotten the message and left her alone. She'd sat by herself, drinking crappy drinks and thinking about the day she'd had. She was glad she'd come to London, now. She was glad to have seen the parade. People in the crowd had been so happy, as if they'd forgotten all their troubles. Surrounded by death and destruction, they'd danced and sang and lit candles for Shepard and all the others who'd died. Admiral Hackett had made a special appearance and said some nice shit about how Shepard and Anderson were the pride not only of humanity, but of the entire galaxy. He said they would never forget the sacrifice of those who'd made it possible for them to see this day. He said that everyone owed it to those who'd laid down their lives to give them a chance for peace to not squander the opportunity but to work together and build a brighter future.

It was a nice idea, but it wasn't going to happen.

"Excuse me?" Some guy had come up behind her.

She sighed and turned. "Look, asswipe, I'm not in the mood – hey! I know you. You're that guy. Caitlin, right?"

_"Kaidan."_

"Yeah, the second human Spectre! You're one of Shepard's boys. What's your last name? Tuchanka?"

"Alenko. Kaidan Alenko."

"Jeez. What the hell was wrong with your parents?"

Kaidan Alenko was tall with black hair, tan skin, a rasp to his voice and intense dark eyes.

"Listen, could I speak to you for a minute?"

"Sure, pretty boy. Pull up a chair. I'll buy you a drink."

"Let's get a booth. That way we can speak in private."

"Hey now, I'm pretty tipsy. You sure you're not trying to get me on my own so you can take advantage of me?"

"No! I would never do that!"

"We'll see. Hey, bartender! This guy's picking up my bill for me, 'cos he's an old fashioned gentleman like that."

"Sure, I'll pay your bill. Just upload it to my – holy shit! How long have you been sitting there? How are you still walking?"

"Years of practice."

They found an empty booth and sat across from each other.

"Ahh," said Jack. "Why don't they don't make chairs like this on ships? I could sleep on this thing. Feels like my ass is sitting in a cloud."

"Well, my ass has never been in a cloud, so I wouldn't know."

"Really? From what I hear, your ass has been a few places."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just messing with you. I saw you at the parade today. You looked very… official."

"You were watching that?"

"No, I came to London just to see the rubble. Of course I was watching."

"They said some good things about Shepard. I'm glad he's being remembered. I just feel the whole thing is pointless, you know? We're in a terrible situation with the Mass Relays down. We can't even feed Earth's population – what's left of it – and now we have all these aliens to deal with. Is this really the time to be having a parade?"

"Sure, it's exactly the time. We've just come through the worst invasion Earth has ever seen. People need something to celebrate, to take their minds off things. To remind us what's good about being alive. This is what we fought for. Let them have their parade."

"You're right, of course. Maybe it was selfish of me. Should you be drinking that so quickly?"

"Gee, you're right. What if Mom finds out?"

"I'm just concerned about you. We've all been affected by this war, especially those of us who were close to Shepard. I just hope you're not using alcohol to cope with your distress."

"So, what, I should cope with my distress by becoming an uptight loner? I should spend all my time worrying about others so I don't have to think about how _I'm _feeling?"

A half-smile tugged at Kaidan's lips. "Huh. You think you know me, don't you?"

"I think I know enough. I've met Boy Scouts like you before."

"I can confidently say I've never met someone like you before."

"That's because there's only one Jack in the galaxy, bitch."

"Thank God for that. Not sure we could handle two of you."

"Join me in a toast. To old friends."

"To old friends."

They threw back their heads and up-ended their glasses.

"To Shepard," said Kaidan.

"To Shepard. The biggest badass the galaxy's ever seen or will see."

Another two glasses were emptied.

"To Ashley. A great soldier and a greater friend."

"To Ashley. No idea who that is, but she sounds like a hardass."

"To Wrex. The only sensible krogan."

"Now I know you're making shit up. To Mordin Solus, who took life from scum and gave life to the needy."

"To Jenkins. A good man who died too young."

"To Anderson. Maybe the second biggest badass in the galaxy."

Several toasts later Kaidan was looking a bit sloshed. He'd wanted to stop, but Jack had insisted that they keep drinking or they would insult the dead, and by the way, he remembered who was paying the bill, right?

"So, Jack, what've you been doing the last few months? You just kind of dropped off the radar."

"This and that. You know. After the war ended, Grissom Academy was finished and my kids all went on to join the navy or sign up for other things. I've just been drifting around, trying to keep my head straight."

"I can see that."

"You think I'm bad now, wait 'til you see me sober. You won't like me when I'm sober."

"I doubt that. You seem pretty fun to be with."

"You seem pretty boring. But you're easy on the eyes, I'll give you that."

Kaidan leaned forward. "Look, Jack. You're possibly the most powerful human biotic in the galaxy."

"What do you mean, possibly?"

"The Alliance could use your abilities."

"Oh, so that's what this is about. You're here to recruit me. Huh. Well, Earth is a shithole right now, and I've heard being in the Alliance gives you certain advantages."

"We look after our own. You'll get food, credits, supplies, whatever you need. And booze."

"Tempting. But I'm not sure I can deal with the whole chain of command thing. I can take orders from someone I know and respect, someone like Shepard. But if I'm in the Alliance, some asshole might try to push me around because he's got a bigger badge then me, and then I might have to kill him, and then I'd end up in a whole heap of trouble."

"You wouldn't have to deal with other officers. You could join my personal crew on my own ship."

"Really? You want me on your ship? You've sure taken a liking to me. I'll have to think it over. I'm not sure I want to take orders right now. Not even from you."

Kaidan leaned back and spread his hands. "Okay, how about this? You come with me on one mission. We'll see how we work together. Once the mission's done, you can stay with me or go your own way. You decide. No pressure."

Jack folded her arms and tilted her head to one side. It was funny, when she narrowed her eyes, it looked like there were two Kaidans. "Interesting. What mission?"

Lowering his voice, Kaidan said, "Two days ago, a scout ship returned from the Pleiades. It picked up a black box from one of our fighters that had been destroyed by a Batarian ship. When the data from the black box was being analysed, they found something unusual. It seems that this fighter, hours before it was destroyed, received a distress signal. The signal… matched the Normandy's distress beacon."

"What the fuck?!"

"Shh, keep your voice down."

"Are you telling me – are you serious? I knew it! I knew that bastard Joker was too good a pilot to let the Normandy fry in the battle! But wait, why haven't they sent a rescue party?"

"The Alliance is in a tight spot. Based on our intel, the Rebels have a significant presence in Pleiadean space. We've already lost six fighters and a cargo transport there. The Rebels are hitting us on multiple fronts – just last week, they kidnapped a team of salarian scientists from the edge of the Oort Cloud, right under our noses. Sending a ship or two into Pleiadean space would be suicide, and the Alliance doesn't want to send a heavily armed fleet, because that would divert ships away from the Sol system. They won't do that to save one ship. Not even the Normandy."

"Those assholes! So they're just going to let Joker and the others die? We have to do something about this."

"I thought you might feel that way. I have a ship of my own now, and I can lean on the Alliance and the Council to give me one or two others. I'm going to lead a rescue party myself."

"Didn't you just say that sending one or two ships would be suicide?"

"Yeah. And who better to take part in a suicide mission than you and me? Shepard got us through quite a few of those."

"Yeah, but Shepard's gone. And, no offence, but you're not Shepard."

"I know I'm not, and I never will be. I wouldn't ever try to replace him. It would be an insult to his memory. But I am Kaidan Alenko, Shepard's right hand man. I helped him destroy Saren and Sovereign and stop the Reaper invasion of Earth. And Shepard chose you to watch his back when he went into the Collector base, and you helped get him out alive. That has to count for something. I know we're not the same team we were under Shepard's command. But we're still pretty damn good."

"Well… I'll have to think about this. Ah, who am I kidding. You had me at 'suicide mission.' It's gonna be fun kicking ass, just like the old days. I've been getting a little rusty. Who else is coming?"

"You remember Justicar Samara?"

"That stuck-up old asari bitch with the big tits, whose daughters are sex maniacs?"

"Not… how I would have described her. But yeah."

"Yeah, I remember her. She is messed up. People say that about me, but at least I never killed people and said it was justice. Heard she killed her own daughters, too. But if you can keep her in line, she'd be good to have along. Hate to say it, but her biotics are as strong as mine. What about Tali? Garrus?"

"Those two are busy trying to settle their people on Earth and protect them from the chaos. They've got their own problems. I'm not sure I want to bother them with this. We don't even know if anyone on the Normandy survived, or if we'll be coming back."

"Oh, I get it now. You're not inviting anyone who's settled down or moved on with their lives. It's a suicide mission, so you're looking for disturbed loners with emotional problems. Well then, you, me and Samara are good choices."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. I read between the lines. When are we leaving?"

"In a couple of days. Samara says she needs to take care of some business. I need to get supplies together and see if I can beg a few more ships from the Council. Then we're ready to go."

"All right. Sounds good, Captain."

"Thanks, Jack. It was good talking to you. Now, I should probably get back to work." Kaidan leaned on the table with his hands and pushed himself to his feet.

Jack stood too. "Hey, before you go, let's have a dance."

"Uh, no. No." Kaidan shook his head vigorously. "Trust me, I'm a worse dancer than Shepard, and I've had a bit too much to drink."

"_No one's _a worse dancer than Shepard. I've seen elcor move more gracefully than him. Come on, Captain. This could be your last chance to dance like an idiot in public. Won't you regret that if we don't come back? If you want your crew to respect you, you have to spend time with them."

Kaidan screwed up his face unhappily, then let out a sigh. "All right," he said grudgingly, allowing Jack to take him by the hand and lead him to the middle of the dance floor. Music blared from loudspeakers, pounding into their skulls. Rainbow coloured lights flashed from the ceiling and the crowd surged around them, people screaming, laughing, dancing and having a good time.

"Oh, I love this song," said Jack. "It's by Onika M'naj, the first asari rapper." She let the beat take her, swirling in time, her body rippling and waving to the music. Kaidan shuffled from side to side. He flapped his arms like a chicken trying to fly. It was so funny that Jack burst out laughing, holding her sides. Kaidan laughed too, his face lit up and eyes crinkled. It was the first time she'd seen him smile. Too busy laughing to see where she was going, she stumbled and almost fell. Kaidan caught her, still grinning. She put her arms around him and kissed him hard on the lips. He kissed her back.

Suddenly, he broke away, looking scared. He released her, muttered something about having to go, turned and pushed his way through the crowd. Jack watched him go, thinking that she wouldn't mind seeing more of that ass.

A wave of nausea hit her and she sank to the floor, holding her head. She could feel all those Shepard Shakes coming back to have revenge on her. That reminded her. She lifted her head, scrunching her eyes against the lights.

"Hey!" she screamed in the direction Kaidan had gone. "Don't forget, you're paying the bill!"

* * *

**A/N:**

I'd planned this story to be T-rated for a bit longer. Then... I wrote a chapter with Jack in it. She's a fun character.


	4. Justice and Vengeance

_Protheans and Batarians only two known post-spaceflight races with four eyes. Possible connection? Javik mentions other four-eyed races in Prothean cycle. Batarian ancestors prominent in Prothean cycle? Batarian-Prothean share common ancestor? Initial thoughts: hypothesis seems absurd – Batarians violent and barbaric, Protheans enlightened and civilised. But Javik seems very violent… Protheans had servant races, Batarians have slaves. Oh Goddess! More research required. Not sure I want to pursue this hypothesis! Goddess! – yahg have four _pairs _of eyes. Significant? Must stop drinking "coffee" before bedtime…_

- Hastily scribbled note from Liara T'Soni's datapad

* * *

As the shuttle left Earth's outer atmosphere, Liara watched the planet receding behind them. The Blue Planet, they called it. It was so beautiful from space, a round jewel half blazing with sunlight, half clothed in shadow, suspended in the void like a teardrop shed by the Goddess. The day side was a deep sapphire broken by jigsaw landmasses and swirling, feathery white cloud cover. It made her heart ache with desire to see her Thessia, separated from her by millions of light years of emptiness.

"We'll reach Mars in about twenty minutes," said the shuttle pilot, a human named Zhengli.

Liara turned away from the window. Her fellow passenger reclined against the opposite seat, her body's curves sliding beneath skin-tight armour the colour of blood.

"Thank you for agreeing to help in this matter, Justicar. You honour me with your presence."

Samara nodded, her handsome high-cheekboned face grave. She was beautiful and cold, a living statue. There was no emotion in her, only discipline and obedience. And judgement. Always judgement. "Your mission will benefit the entire galaxy. The Code compels me to assist you."

"How fortunate." _Let's hope your Code doesn't "compel" you to kill anyone on this trip. _Liara knew about Samara and the sacrifices the Justicar had made. No mother should have to hunt and kill her own daughter. For that matter, no daughter should have to kill her own mother, but sometimes duty forced people to turn against the ones they loved. Liara had learnt that the hard way on Noveria. Samara had dealt with her grief by subsuming her emotions entirely to her Code. Centuries of training had forged her into an unstoppable force in pursuit of justice (or at least Samara's vision of it). That made her a powerful ally, but a dangerous and unpredictable one. Liara had come well-armed on this mission and she did not know whether it was the Prothean or the Justicar who worried her most.

The shuttle quivered as the FTL drive engaged. They would accelerate to a tiny fraction of light speed, for Mars was right next door to Earth in planetary terms.

"I have heard interesting things about you, Doctor," said the Justicar in her cool voice. "I know that Shepard trusted you with his life, and I respect his judgement. However, those who deal in secrets and shadows must be careful not to be ensnared in their own devices."

"Wise words, Justicar. I shall reflect on them." Liara stretched, bringing her right hand closer to the weapons locker where her heavy pistol lay. She didn't think the Justicar would try anything, not while Liara had a role to play, a role that was "useful to the entire galaxy." So long as Liara stayed useful, she would be safe. More or less. It struck Liara how funny it was that she was seriously considering her odds against a Justicar in battle. There was a time when such a thought would never have come into her head. She was no fool: she knew that Samara would kill her in a fair fight, and probably even in a fight where Liara had the advantage. But Liara now believed that despite her young age she was a serious opponent. She'd changed a lot in the past few years, much of it due to Shepard, who'd shown her things she'd never dreamed of. Sometimes she wondered if she was the same person any more. She felt like she'd stepped over the edge of an abyss, and Shepard was no longer there to catch her.

"I saw you watching Earth through the window as we left. What was going through your mind?"

"I was thinking of how beautiful it was. It reminded me of something Shepard told me. He said that the human homeworld was 70% water, and the human body was 70% water, too. He said it comforted him to think that no matter where humanity spread through the galaxy, they would always carry something of their birthplace with them."

"There was much wisdom in him. War turns some people into monsters, but others it turns into philosophers and poets. Shepard was one of those. Conflict forged him into something purer and truer than ordinary souls."

"It's fascinating how the environment shapes the organism. All those years the sentient species lived on their homeworlds has left its mark in our DNA. We carry millions of years of history inscribed in our genes. That interests me as a scientist. And as an asari, it comforts me to think that part of Thessia will always be in me."

"Yes. We asari write our poetry in paper, stone, metal and light. But the Goddess writes her poetry in our bodies and souls, in the very structure of Creation. It brings me peace, too, to think that though I shall never see my last daughter again, part of me will always be in her."

Regret? Sentimentality? From the asari who slew her own daughter? There was no change in Samara's steady tone, not even the tiniest inflection to hint at her feelings. But her words were… curious. They suggested a vulnerability, a motherly side to her that she had never revealed before, at least not in the presence of Liara. Perhaps she had opened up to Shepard. Yes, she would have confided in him if anyone. He had that gift of making people trust him, believe in him. Liara had felt it herself, had told him things she would have died before telling anyone else.

The Justicar had said that she trusted Shepard's judgement, an incredible thing. Justicars were revered as the pinnacle of the asari civilisation's quest for wisdom. Even asari Matriarchs would defer to a Justicar's ruling without question. When a Justicar encountered a situation that demanded her attention, she would generally ignore the opinions of the Matriarchs and apply her centuries of knowledge in conjunction with her personal understanding of the Code to reach her own judgement. For a Justicar to even acknowledge that non-asari had worthwhile opinions was rare. For one to say that she _respected _a human's judgement was almost unthinkable. Why hadn't Liara noticed how odd that comment was? Because the human in question was Shepard, and he was not like other humans. He was not like anyone else in the galaxy.

"I am sure you will see your daughter again, Justicar."

Samara closed her eyes briefly and reopened them. "No. I am almost a millennium old. My time in this plane of existence is drawing to an end. I do not know how long it will take to repair the many Mass Relays between here and Lessus or Thessia, but I will never see my daughter or my mother-world again. Do not feel you have to console me with false reassurances. It does not cause me undue distress. The Code sustains me, as it has through all the dark periods of my life."

Liara had to admire the dignity with which the Justicar bore her hardships, even as she was repelled by the thought of living such a life herself. The Justicars bought serenity with their souls; they exchanged their hearts for peace of mind. Living a life without emotions, without personal desires, would be no kind of life at all, at least not to Liara.

"May I ask you something?" Samara said.

"Of course."

"Why did you request my assistance in speaking with the Prothean?"

"I needed protection. And… Javik is difficult to communicate with, to understand. I thought a Justicar's wisdom might be useful. In some ways I believe you and Javik are similar."

"How so?"

"Single-minded devotion to duty. Ruthless pursuit of your goals. Javik is an Avatar of vengeance. He said there were many such Avatars among the Protheans, individuals who embodied a particular virtue. It reminded me of the Justicars. You embody justice. Your order is ancient. I wonder if perhaps the Justicars were influenced by the Avatars, given that the Protheans interfered in our cultural evolution since our earliest days."

If Samara found the idea curious, she did not show it. Her hooded eyes continued to watch Liara flatly, punctuated by an occasional lazy blink. She reminded Liara of a lizard. "A curious choice of word, 'interfered.' From your writings I gathered you had a high opinion of the Protheans and their contributions to asari civilisation."

"You've… read my work?"

"Of course. A Justicar must cultivate knowledge on a broad range of subjects. Though very young, you have distinguished yourself in your field. When I sought to learn about the Protheans, I turned to your popular science book, _Voices from the Grave. _I enjoyed it. Your writing is clearer and more persuasive than that of asari five times your age."

Liara had not expected a compliment from Samara. "That's… one of my earlier works. It's a bit rough, but thank you. That is high praise, coming from you."

"And have you revised your opinion of the Protheans?"

"I… I suppose I have. After meeting Javik and speaking to him, he wasn't what I expected. He was almost the opposite of what I expected."

"He disappointed you."

"Yes. I suppose he did."

"We should never idolise people, or species, or objects. They will always disappoint you. Perfection does not exist in this plane. Your mistake was placing your expectations on something external to yourself: in this case, the Protheans. Expect nothing, desire nothing, and you will not be disturbed. Peace of mind can only come from within."

_If I expect nothing and desire nothing, I might as well be dead. _"Perhaps."

They passed the rest of the journey in silence. Soon the shuttle began its descent, gliding through the atmosphere of Mars and settling aboard a landing pad a short distance from the Prothean dig site. Liara and Samara thanked the pilot.

"Good luck with whatever it is you're doing," he said. "I'll be here when you're done."

They loaded out their weapons and donned breather masks before stepping out of the ship. The landscape of Mars had a harsh beauty, its sandy hills strewn with boulders, all glowing in shades of rose and scarlet under Sol's light. Very little terraforming had been done, the Alliance maintaining the original environment so as to preserve the Prothean ruins and other resources. They were met at the entrance to the dig site by a couple of Alliance marines.

"Morning, Doctor," said one. "Councillor Hackett said you'd be here. And this is… ?"

"My bodyguard," said Liara.

"Bodyguard? You won't be needing one in there. Place is dead. Has been for thousands of years."

"Nevertheless. The data I seek is valuable. I prefer not to take chances."

"Would you like us to escort you?"

"Thank you, but no. The Justicar and I should be able to defend ourselves. I would prefer minimal distractions. The work I have to do is highly complex and technical."

They were waved through the entrance, a small portal cut into the side of the mountain. Beyond lay a tunnel, the walls clearly of Prothean construction. As always, Liara felt a solemn weight settle on her as she walked the corridor, stirring up the dust of bygone millennia. Prothean ruins were like temples to her: holy places, ancient and mysterious and full of secrets. Even now she could stop and investigate one of these passages all day, taking measurements, scanning, performing tests. The tall figure of the Justicar at her side served as a reminder of the urgency of their mission, preventing her from becoming too distracted.

"What makes you think the Prothean will be here?" asked Samara.

"An educated guess. If he didn't die in the battle, why hasn't he shown himself? He was an Avatar of vengeance. He said his job would not be complete until the last Reaper had been destroyed. Now the Reapers are gone, he no longer has a mission. Where would he go? What would he do?"

"So he returns to the abode of his dead people. A plausible conclusion, though I am no expert on the Protheans."

_Neither am I. Meeting Javik made it clear that everything I'd believed about the Protheans was wrong. Some archaeologist I am._

They trotted on, Liara leading the way past side tunnels and collapsed entrances, twisting and winding through the underground complex.

"Have you some idea of where the Prothean is?" Samara asked. "We are leaving many passages unexplored."

"If he's anywhere, he'll be in the central chamber. It holds a data bank and other equipment."

The central chamber was large and circular. Its walls were carved with mysterious symbols, and in the centre stood a data cradle, dark and lifeless now. The last time Liara had been here, she'd been fighting Cerberus troops who'd invaded the facility. Shepard had been with her, and Kaidan and James Vega. They'd tried to stop the Illusive Man from stealing the Prothean data, but they'd failed. Not one of her best memories.

"Dr T'Soni." Javik's clipped tones rang in the silent, empty room. He sat by the base of a pillar, as still as one of the stone statues left by his long-extinct people. "I've been expecting you. I knew that if anyone would find me here, it would be you. It took you over five of this cycle's months. Disappointing."

"I only started looking for you yesterday."

"I see. There must be a reason for this sudden interest."

"No one's seen you since the end of the war. How are you?"

"As good as can be expected for one whose entire people have been killed. You are not here for idle chit-chat. If you want something, speak."

"The first thing I wanted was to check if you were still alive. We… I know this cycle is hard for you to understand. I know that you didn't always approve of us or get along with us. But I'd like to think that we've become friends."

"Interesting. Yes, I enjoyed fighting alongside you. I learned much, and you proved yourself a worthy ally. Now what is it you want?"

"When Shepard used the Crucible, he destroyed the Mass Relays along with the Reapers."

"I am aware of this. I have been aware for five months."

"Fixing the Mass Relays is beyond the power of our scientists. They've asked me to help them. The Protheans were able to manipulate the Mass Relay network. Perhaps if you could help me…"

"I am not a scientist."

"I know. I told them that. But you understand the Prothean language and culture. I have a lot of Prothean data, including data from the science station on Ilos that built the Conduit and patched it into the Citadel's Mass Relay. With your help and my data, I think our scientists could make a lot of progress."

"I see." Javik's inscrutable Prothean eyes flickered. After a few seconds he said, "No. I will not help you."

"Why - " Liara began, but Justicar Samara stepped forward.

"The Mass Relay network is relied upon by the entire galaxy," Samara said. "You have an obligation to help repair it."

"I am under no obligation. I do not share your moral views."

"Be warned, Prothean. It is in your interest to co-operate. I could you compel by force if I wished. Do not let it come to that."

"Don't be a fool, asari. The two of you together could defeat me, but I would kill one of you and seriously injure the other before I fell. And if I die, I cannot help you rebuild the Mass Relay, so you would gain nothing and lose much. An irrational trade, even for the races in this cycle."

"Justicar, please!" said Liara. "Javik, we didn't come here to force you to do anything. I just want to talk to you."

"It would be irrational to kill you," said Samara. "But not to capture you."

"You would not take me alive. My kind battled the Reapers for millenia. We fight to our last strength and take our lives in battle so they will not use our bodies."

"Justicar!" Liara turned on Samara. "Please, that's enough! You're just antagonising Javik. Please stop."

"Listen to the young doctor. Your hostile attitude irritates me. Even if were I inclined to help before you arrived, I would no longer be so kindly disposed now. Despite your vaunted Justicar status, it is clear that some kinds of wisdom do not come with age."

"It's no use simply talking to him, Dr T'Soni. He's already decided he won't help. We must give him an incentive. You owe us a debt, Prothean."

"I owe you nothing. If anything, it is you who owe me. We uplifted your kind, taught you everything. I remember when you could not even write."

"Such contempt you have for us, and yet, we are still here, while your kind disappeared long ago."

"Be careful, asari. You are near the end of your lifespan. If you wish to enjoy your twilight years, do not anger me further."

"Enough!" shouted Liara. She knew now that it had been a mistake to bring the Justicar. Samara and Javik were similar, yes. Too similar. Too rigid. Too inflexible. They saw the world in black and white and would not easily compromise. "Justicar, I think it's better that I speak to Javik alone. Please wait outside the chamber."

"Very well," said Samara. "But be warned, if the Prothean tries anything, I will be watching."

"If the Prothean tries anything, you will be the first to die," Javik replied.

Once Samara had left, Liara sighed and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to antagonise you."

"You did not antagonise me. Your companion did. She does not have Shepard's persuasiveness."

Liara sat on the floor across from Javik.

"What will you do now the Reapers are gone?"

"I have fulfilled my duties. I am released."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Do you wish to know why I will not help you rebuild the Mass Relay?"

"Yes."

"It was the wish of my people that we pass on our civilisation to the next cycle. But I do not think that the races of this cycle have proven themselves worthy of Prothean knowledge."

Liara frowned. "We were the first organics to ever destroy the Reapers. That must count for something."

"You destroyed the Reapers with the Crucible, a device built with the efforts of many previous cycles. All your technology is borrowed from others, even the Mass Relay network and the Citadel. The Cosmic Imperative states that only the strong will survive and succeed, but every organic race has cheated the Imperative by using technology taken from superior races, like the Relays left by the Reapers. This has made you soft and weak. You achieve intergalactic spaceflight before you are ready to use it wisely."

"With the network gone, the galaxy has been thrown into chaos."

"Sometimes chaos is necessary. When order is preserved too long, society stagnates. The core becomes rotten. Your culture becomes hollow, corrupted, held up by the fossilised structure of past achievements. Chaos brings freedom, movement, change. It will allow the weak to be pruned and eliminated."

"And you're willing to let millions of people die, let our civilisation be destroyed, let people live in fear and pain and sickness because of this Cosmic Imperative?"

"It is better for a weak civilisation to die early and be replaced by a strong one. It is better for the weak to be eliminated early before they can infect the foundations of a society and cause it to collapse later. It brings about less suffering in the long run."

"I don't agree with that."

"You do not have to agree. But do not ask me to give your galaxy technology it is not ready for."

"And when will it be ready?"

"When it shows good sense."

"And who will be the judge of that?"

"I will."

"I see." Liara stared into space for a minute. When she spoke again, she shook herself as though waking from a dream. "You mentioned Shepard earlier. Do you think he had good sense?"

"Yes."

"And if he were here, would you feel safe putting Prothean technology in the hands of this cycle?"

Javik considered that. "Yes, perhaps I would."

"And if Shepard asked you to help rebuild the Mass Relay, would you do it?"

Javik tilted his head to one side. "Maybe Shepard could persuade me. But he is not here."

"What if he was?"

"He is dead, is he not?"

"So everyone believes. But we all thought Shepard had died once before. And he came back."

"I do not believe in people coming back from the dead."

"Everyone thought the Protheans had died. And you're here, aren't you?"

Javik laughed, a harsh barking sound. "Very well, Doctor. Bring me Shepard, and then we shall talk."

Liara nodded and rose to her feet. "Thank you, Javik."

_Now I just have to bring a man back from the dead and rebuild the most complicated technology the galaxy has ever seen. _

When she'd been a lonely girl digging in remote corners of the galaxy, she had often wished for a more exciting life. It just went to show that the Matriarchs were right, and that people should think before making wishes.


End file.
